Stop dilly-dallying.

Stop dilly-dallying is one of my key parenting phrases. 

“Please no dilly-dallying as you get ready for the day.” 

“Stop dilly-dallying and clean up your toys.”

“Rosie! (our 14 week old puppy), quit dilly-dallying and go potty.”

The phrase dilly-dallying first entered my vernacular during my youth ministry volunteer days. On summer trips to conferences and camps, students would often get lured into purchasing gas station trinkets during every bathroom break, shopping around with the cold, hard cash given to them by their parents only for necessities on the trip. 

My sing-songy plea to students on every stop was, “Please don’t dilly-dally. Go in, use the restroom, grab a snack if you absolutely are starving, and then come back to the van.” A great deal of time was wasted on these trips due to students browsing gas station merchandise. We could get to our conference or camp much sooner if we eliminated dilly-dallying from our pit stops. It would also be a wonderful surprise if all of our students still had enough money to buy themselves lunch on the way home. 

Dilly-dallying is actually acknowledged by Miriam-Webster’s dictionary as “to waste time by loitering or delaying”. Clearly, I dislike wasting time; I appreciate efficiency and productivity and resonate deeply with Stadia’s value of urgency (potentially for the wrong reasons–see story above). 

However, as a woman in leadership, I have wasted a lot of time questioning my own skills and abilities, qualifying my perspectives before I even share them, and wondering if I actually should have a seat at the table. And, I know I’m not the only one who struggles with these insecurities. 

New research suggests that women consistently underestimate their abilities and performance. This study also discovered that women evaluated themselves less favorably than their peers, both men and women. The gender gap in self-evaluations proved to be consistent over 4,000 participants. 

Do you constantly question yourself or your own leadership gifts? Do you know women in your life who are struggling to identify who they are and what they’re good at?

As we enter Women’s History Month, my challenge to women and men as we pray through Luke 11:9 is to ASK for increased confidence. Together let’s pray that the church would be a place where women can lean into their own uniqueness without questioning or qualifying themselves and that we would all fearlessly SEEK Jesus as we lead and serve in diverse roles in church planting.

As Director of Bloom, I have the privilege of helping women maximize their roles in starting churches. I wholeheartedly believe that the impact women have will continue to grow as we eliminate self-doubt and insecurity. This is why our 2021 theme is FEARLESS.

FEARLESS for the Bloom Community means that regardless of our circumstances, we will choose not to live in fear, but to move through the world with courage that only comes from the Holy Spirit. FEARLESS looks different for each woman in Bloom, yet our goal is that we all would embrace what a fearless story looks like in 2021.

This month, I celebrate women who are fearlessly leading and serving in several roles in church planting leadership:

I celebrate Valarie: Church Planter, Lead Pastor, Nurse, and passionate grandma.

I celebrate Kristin: pre-launch Church Planter, pastor’s wife and mom of 2 boys, serving her community in the local school system and through Harry Potter and Marvel Trivia Nights.

I celebrate Ashley: Church Planter, Community Life Director, and advocate for those with or loving someone with mental health challenges. 

I celebrate the next generation of church planting women—future planters of thriving, growing, and multiplying churches; women who know who they are and what they’re good at and don’t question who God has made them to be. 

This next generation includes my daughter, Clara: a 6 year old artist who is learning to find her voice. My prayer for her is that she would not struggle with self-doubt and insecurity that causes her to dilly-dally on her way to finding God’s best for her life. 

As we celebrate women this month, may we all be able pray and ask God for holy confidence on our journeys: 

God show me how you have uniquely created me. Help me empower others to live into their own uniqueness. And help me to fearlessly lead and serve in my sphere of influence so every child has a church.